Tony Flood presenting an Anderida Writers award to fellow author Robert Crouch
By Tony Flood
Anderida Writers members have been delighted to receive expert advice which chairman Tony Flood has passed on from Patrick Walsh, the founder of Publishing Push.
Patrick has revealed the red flags and critical mistakes that writers should avoid in the opening pages of their work.
He says that readers and agents often make their decisions based on the first five pages – occasionally just the first page!
He tells writers: “Ask yourself if the first five pages are vital to your story. Would the story suffer if these five pages were removed? If the answer is ‘no’ then you should consider removing them.
Mr Walsh says that over the last 11 years he has edited hundreds of manuscripts. And he can tell within the first 10 pages whether a writer understands their craft or is still learning.
It’s not about talent. It’s about knowing what these red flags look like and how to eliminate them.
The first red flag is starting in the wrong place. It is a mistake to have your manuscript opening with:
- Your protagonist waking up and going through their morning routine
- A prologue explaining the world’s history or backstory
- Detailed description of the setting before anything happens
- Character driving/traveling to where the story begins
- Internal monologue about their life situation.
An example of what NOT to write at the start of a thriller is:
“Sarah Mitchell woke to the sound of her alarm at 6:00 am. She hit snooze once, then twice, before finally dragging herself out of bed. The apartment was cold. She made her way to the bathroom, splashed water on her face, and studied herself in the mirror. Thirty-four years old, and she looked tired. The job at the consulting firm was wearing her down. She’d been thinking about quitting for months now, but bills don’t pay themselves.
After a quick shower, she dressed in her usual work uniform: black slacks, white blouse, blazer. Professional. Boring. She grabbed her coffee, her bag, and her keys, and headed out the door.
When she finally arrived at the office building, she had no idea that today would be the day everything changed.”
Why This Is a Red Flag:
We’re three paragraphs in and nothing has happened. We’re watching Sarah exist, not watching her face a problem.
The writer is “warming up” but readers don’t need a warm-up. They need the story.
How to Diagnose This in Your Manuscript
Ask yourself these questions:
- Does your opening paragraph contain action/conflict, or description/routine?
- If you deleted the first page entirely, would your story still make sense?
- Does something change In your first 10 pages, or are you setting up for a change that will happen later?
- Are you describing your protagonist’s “normal life” before disrupting it?
If you answered “routine/description,” “yes,” “setting up,” and “yes,” you’re starting in the wrong place.
The Fix
Start where something changes. Not where things are normal. Not where you’re building toward change.
Here’s the same thriller opening, rewritten:
The package wasn’t addressed to anyone.
Sarah Mitchell stared at it sitting on her desk. Plain brown paper, no label, no return address. Just her office number scrawled in black marker.
She’d worked at Sterling Consulting for three years. Packages didn’t just appear.
She reached for it, hesitated. Pulled her hand back.
Through the glass wall of her office, her assistant Emma was on the phone, laughing at something. The Tuesday morning hum of keyboards and coffee makers. Everything normal.
Except the package.
Sarah picked it up. Light. She shook it gently. Something shifted inside.
She tore open the paper.
Inside was a single photograph: Sarah herself, leaving her apartment building that morning. Taken less than an hour ago.
On the back, written in the same black marker: ‘I know what you did.’”
What changed:
- We start with the inciting incident (the package), not the routine
- We learn who Sarah is through her actions and reactions, not through description
- We create immediate questions: Who sent this? What did Sarah do? Is she in danger?
- We establish her normal world (consulting job, assistant named Emma) through context
- The reader is hooked on page 1, not page 4
Genre-Specific Variations
Fantasy/Sci-Fi:
Don’t open with:
- Maps or world-building explanations
- Prologues about ancient wars or prophesies
- Detailed magic system tutorials
Do open with:
- Your protagonist facing an immediate problem in this world
- We learn the world-building through them navigating it
Romance:
Don’t open with:
- Protagonist’s entire dating history
- Why they’ve given up on love
- Detailed description of their appearance
Do open with:
- The moment that will lead to meeting the love interest
- Protagonist facing a problem the love interest will help solve (or cause)
Memoir:
Don’t open with:
- “I was born in…”
- Chronological life summary
- Explanation of why you’re writing this book
Do open with:
- The most dramatic/emotional moment of your story
- A scene that encapsulates your transformation
- In medias res: middle of action, then backtrack.
Other advice, including avoiding information dumping, can be obtained from Anderida Writers, who usually meet on the second Tuesday of each month at 7.30pm in the Hydro Hotel, Eastbourne. More information is available from Tony Flood at tflood04@yahoo.co.uk and from the Anderida website at www.anderidawriters.co.uk
Author Bio:
Author Tony Flood, who lives in Eastbourne, has spent most of his working life as a journalist, initially on local and regional papers and then on nationals. He was also editor of ‘Football Monthly’, Controller of Information at Sky Television and enjoyed a spell with ‘The People.’
In his celebrity book My Life With The Stars – Sizzling Secrets Spilled, Tony recalls: “My work as a showbiz and leisure writer, critic and editor saw me take on a variety of challenges – learning to dance with Strictly Come Dancing star Erin Boag, becoming a stand-up comedian and playing football with the late George Best and Bobby Moore in charity matches.”
My Life With The Stars provides revelations and amusing anecdotes about showbiz and sports personalities including Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra, Muhammad Ali, George Best, Kylie Minogue, Eric Morecambe and Des O’Connor.
Tony also writes in other genres and his crime thrillers have been endorsed by best-selling author Peter James. They are Triple Tease, Stitch Up – Killer or Victim? and Fall Guy – who really killed his wife? The latest is Beggars Belief.
All four crime thrillers feature compassionate copper DCI Harvey Livermore.
In addition, there’s a fantasy adventure for youngsters called Secret Potion, and a book Tony has co-written with wife Heather, aptly titled Laughs and Tears Galore – short stories and poems with twists!
Tony also writes theatre reviews for Unknown Kent and Sussex online magazine and BourneFree Live. He recently retired from playing veterans football for Sovereign Harbour Veterans.
Contact Author:
Email: tflood04@yahoo.co.uk
