By Heather Flood
This is a short story by Heather Flood from the book Laughs and Tears Galore – Stories and Poems with Twists, jointly written by Heather and Tony Flood. It is available on Amazon-co.uk and other sites.
I have been here in the unknown for 20 minutes, and there are quite a few of us in the line awaiting our fates.
Let me explain. I died yesterday, quietly slipped away in my bed, with no fuss and no great pain.
On that last day, my family had all gathered round to say how much they loved me and would miss me. Aimee, my granddaughter, held my hand in those last moments and whispered “Goodbye, Nan, I love you.” We had built quite a bond, enjoying each other’s company, laughing together. “Guess what, Nan!” she would say, and I’d listen with pride as she told me her latest achievements at school.
She got on well with everyone – except her brother Tim. They were like chalk and cheese. They made me laugh in their different waysm and I loved them both dearly.
A few years later another brother arrived, little Bobby. He was so cute and, as he got older, saw himself as the peacemaker. He would try to end the arguments involving Aimee and Tim by saying: “Guys, guys, let’s all be friends.”
If I’d had the energy, I would have willed myself to stay with Aimee and her little brothers longer, but I’d had my time. I tried to shout out: “Goodbye everyone, I love you,” but it was too late.
WHOOSH! I felt myself being pulled along, like being sucked into a vacuum cleaner. The sensation changed and I began to relax as I found myself floating through some sort of dark tunnel. Everything seemed peaceful until sparkling white lights appeared, popping up as I glided along. POW! – there was an explosion of bright colours, and I suddenly found myself standing in a line with other people waiting.
There isn’t a mirror in this new place to which I have been sent, so I can’t look at myself, but I seem to be wearing my best dress, and those really nice black shoes I bought last year for a Christmas party. How strange, since I had died in bed with a pink nightdress on.
We move further along the tunnel until we come to a man in a white uniform, handing out forms and pens.
We have been given a questionnaire headed ‘PREFERRED CHOICES’. It asks me to pick from ‘heaven’ or ‘other’. I select ‘heaven’.
Then I’m asked: ‘male or female?’ I tick ‘female. I wouldn’t want to change, as I’ve always loved being a mother and grandmother. And I’ve greatly enjoyed talking ten to the dozen and shopping till I drop.
When it comes to ‘married or single?’ I put ‘married’. I’ve had two husbands, one a ‘scoundrel’ and the second a lovely, caring man, with a wonderful sense of humour, who made me laugh every day until he passed away. Will I see him again? I hope so.
Next question: Choose one of the following: Mary Poppins, Ebenezer Scrooge or Lord Voldemort.
Voldemort? How did he get on this form? The only thing I like about the nasty J.K. Rowling character is that Ralph Fiennes played him in the Harry Potter film series and he’s a dish.
I take a chance and put ‘Lord Voldemort’ in the hope I’ll one day meet Ralph Fiennes. I think this question is only a bit of fun anyway, and I’d love to have a magic wand. Flying on a broomstick would also be great!
Well, that’s done – form finished and handed in! Now I’m waiting in another line of people. God, I’m fed up (oh, sorry, he might be listening). Hey, wait a minute, my shoes have changed into fluffy blue slippers – I’ve not had a pair like this for years.
I decide to try an experiment. I turn my thoughts to my nice silver strappy sandals, which are in a box in my wardrobe at home – they now seem to be on my feet. So, that’s it. I am only imagining myself in clothes. Does that mean I’m actually naked?
I am now floating – what am I? Scotch mist?
But I’m not frightened. I have made my choices on the form and am excited about what is in store for me.
We now proceed to a huge white complex. Suddenly, three large holes appear in front of us. One is blue, the second yellow, and the third bright red.
Another man in a white uniform appears and makes an announcement. He says that anyone who chose Mary Poppins on their form should stand in front of the blue hole and can slide straight into heaven.
Anyone who chose Ebenezer Scrooge must line-up next to the yellow hole.
The man explains: “If you selected Scrooge, you will be given other questions to answer to see if you are likely to change and deserve redemption.”
Oh dear, I’m starting to feel uneasy!
The man then declares that those who put down Lord Voldemort should stand in front of the red hole. It seems I may have made the wrong choice!
What am I supposed to do now? I move forward and look down to see an even bigger hole opening up beneath me.
“What does it mean?” I ask the guy in the white uniform.
“You must jump into the hole and find out,” he says. His blank expression gives nothing away.
Well, here goes! I’ve played it safe and tried to follow the right path all my life, but maybe everything is about to change.
“At least there should be some big characters down here and, if I’m given a magic wand, I can have some fun with them. Bye, bye.
Expelliarmus! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!
Author Bio:
Heather Flood has written several books for children, and her latest much-acclaimed fantasy PURPLE MIST – An Out-Of-This-World Adventure! Is for both children and adults!
Her wonderful characters have been compared to some of those in Julia Donaldson’s The Gruffalo, and Heather has reached No. 1 in her Amazon top 100 best-sellers category!
She began writing by reviewing theatrical productions for the Richmond and Twickenham Times newspaper series and, since moving to Eastbourne in 2008, she has continued to pen theatre reviews.
Heather decided to write children’s books, mainly for her grandchildren Gabrielle, Ashlee and later Sam, Zack and Harry. It was Gabrielle’s love of the colour pink which prompted Heather to create Mousey Mousey and the Witches’ Spells, about a delightful little lady mouse whose pink possessions and whole world are turned upside down by a naughty witch.
This was so successful that Heather followed up with Mousey Mousey and the Witches’ Revenge, and The Giant Sticker Monster and Other Children’s Stories.
Heather had previously given husband Tony the idea for his first novel, Secret Potion, a fantasy adventure story for all ages.
She has benefited from belonging to Anderida Writers, where she won three successive awards.
Heather, a former secretary, likes trying new things and has taken on many challenges. These include helping her first husband to build two houses, climbing the Great Wall of China and making wedding and birthday cakes.
She had great fun as a member of two choirs and learning to dance with Erin Boag, one of the stars from TV’s Strictly Come Dancing. But Heather discovered that, sadly, both she and Tony have two left feet!
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