By Miriam Erasmus
I used to keep all my cracked crockery for one reason only – to smash down with as much anger as I could muster at the time. Then, during the humility of sweeping up the smithereens, that anger would usually be transmuted into self conscious laughter.
And the beauty of all that?
Nobody saw it, it hurt nobody and I could externalise, not internalise it.
Anger has so many variants. The top end of the scale is sheer rage. Then there are irritations of varying degrees, and, the most incidious “ill will.”
It destroys mental peace and causes immediate harm to us and our relationships with others.
I remember going to a lecture on Anger and it’s consequences in the ‘70s when I was trying to find myself.
I came away with two things that I have carried all my life.
1. Don’t hurt anyone in return.
The lecturer had a couple of examples – once, when she burnt the toast for the umpteenth time, she stomped on it and then had to clean it up. On another occasion her long suffering husband had just planted a row of saplings to make a hedge, and she went along the row pulling them all up! He just gave her a hug and patiently replanted them.
2. Don’t hang on to the hurt.
Anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.
I know that in my life I have been the butt of, and felt, all of these variants, from being bugged by someone pushing in a queue to absolute rage at an injustice, real or imagined. Each time, something in me has been affected and, on reflection, the more I hung on, the more sick I got. The more I learn to let go, the easier life feels.
Make no mistake, I still have some cracked things stashed away. I haven’t had the urge to smash them lately, but they are there, just in case.
Author Bio:
Singer / Songwriter / Journalist Miriam was born in Lewes, Sussex in 1948, and has spent her whole life sharing music.
In the ‘70s, as Miriam Backhouse ‘The First Lady of Folk’, she toured Europe with her own, and traditional songs. She still does a mini tour every Summer.
In 1977 she married John Erasmus and moved to South Africa.
They earned their living as “Mim and John” playing music for all ages.
Now she enjoys sharing stories of life in South Africa and her travels.
Contact Author:
YouTube link.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnpj8REUlOzHPXnPnULwpKg
Facebook link.
https://web.facebook.com/miriam.erasmus
