By John Silverton
(Winner of the Anderida Writers’ Poetry Competition, 2022)
Elsie is a cow of the bovine ilk,
Four legs, four tits, hide unlike silk,
From one end comes moo, t’other gallons of milk
Yields the farmer ensures by biological bilk.
Orlando is a bull primed with amative intention,
Two balls, one cock, in search of female attention,
Charging his meadow with much snorting and mooing
To court darling Elsie whom he craves for his wooing.
He’s enamoured by her body more fatter than leaner,
And the grass her fence side looks very much greener,
‘I love you, I want you,’ he cries through the fence,
And with a nod and a wink she ends his sexual suspense.
This acquiescence to love sets his feelings on fire
Now Elsie is willing to quench his burning desire;
Without further ado he leaps the fence to her side,
An inglorious heap landing upon his backside.
‘Oh Orlando! You Bull! Are you hurt?’ she enquires,
Admiring his jump and bounce off the barbed wires,
Then suggesting some foreplay before they screw,
Her dreams of love now about to come true.
With dejection out pouring through many a tear,
He castrato replies: ‘Just call me Orlando my dear,
The barbed wire fence was higher than I thought
And now I’m a eunuch, and all wooing is thwart.’
Author Bio:
John Silverton is a former freelance journalist, newspaper columnist and magazine features writer. In 2022 he published a suspenseful romantic novel, A PEARL AMONGST OYSTERS and will publish a collection of short stories and verse in 2026. He is currently writing a second novel, a crime thriller set in the art market, introducing detective inspector Boyd, who doesn’t mind bending the rules to achieve justice.
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