By John Newton
Why is Mum shouting at me to get up? She’s such a bully. I don’t want to go to school. I like it here in bed. My Mum is so cruel. She makes me eat peas. She knows I hate peas, but she always makes me eat them. And she makes me clean my teeth twice a day. I don’t know why I have to clean them in the evening, when I cleaned them in the morning. And I don’t like that squidgy white toothpaste. Why can’t I have green stuff like Billy at school? He says it tastes lovely and makes lines and patterns on the towel.
And she makes me have a bath every day, when I am still clean from the bath I had yesterday. And she keeps pushing my head under water. She says she is washing my hair, but I think she is trying to drown me for the insurance, like that lady on television the other night. I’m not sure what insurance is, but that lady got lots of money, although she ended up in jail at the end. I don’t want my Mum in jail, but I’ll get her sent there if she keeps ducking me under water.
My Mum just doesn’t understand me. She never listens to what I tell her. Nor does my Dad. He tells silly jokes all the time and thinks he’s so funny. He tells them to my friends at the school gate and rolls about laughing. We have to laugh too, although his jokes are always the ones told us yesterday. And last week. He’s so embarrassing.
At football he keeps shouting and telling me what to do. He always complains about the referee. So do all the other Dads. One lady said she comes because they’re better entertainment than the game. My Dad never shouts at anyone on Sports Day. Mum says it’s because he is too busy watching the older girls running and jumping. He says, ‘What nonsense,’ but Mum is right. I see him looking at the fifth and six year girls, with their long legs and bouncy bits. Most of the other Dads do too. I think they’re silly.
Mum is still calling from the kitchen. ‘If you don’t get up soon Timmy, you won’t be able to have breakfast.’
See if I care. She doesn’t give me the right things to eat for breakfast anyway. She makes me eat porridge and bits of fruit cut up in a bowl or cornflakes with no sugar. Why can’t I have proper like food like Billy at school? BVurgers, pizza and fish fingers. Or those chicken nuggets. I’ve told my Mum and she told Billy’s Mum and made her angry said ‘He’s always inventing stories. Of course I don’t give him burgers and things for breakfast.’
He says I got him into trouble and wouldn’t speak to me for two days. He’s older than me and when we were speaking again, said his mother made that up because it is her business what she gives him for breakfast. I told my Mum, but it made no difference. She kept on with porridge and things. She is so unfair.
She’s still shouting at me to get up, so I suppose I’d better. ‘You’ll be late for school,’ she says. What do I care? I don’t like school. They never tell me anything interesting that will help me be a pop star or an astronaut. I’d make a good pop star. But I think I’ll be an astronaut. It’s easy. I’ve seen Mr Spock on television. He just floats around and goes on planets and tells people what to do. I’d be good at that. I wonder if being in space gives you funny ears? Perhaps I’ll be a footballer. They don’t get funny ears.
And at school the silly new girl called Minnie keeps trying to kiss me. Her face is all spotty and I don’t like her. Mind you I felt upset when I saw her trying to kiss Billy as well. He says he doesn’t mind the spots. So he’s silly too.
Another thing about school. They make me work so hard I think I should be paid. Grownups get paid for working and I know that lots of them don’t work as hard as me.
My Mum is still shouting and is starting to sound angry. I know she’ll make me eat porridge, then my Dad will tell me silly jokes in the car and when we get to the school gate he’ll get out and tell the same jokes to the other boys and go across and talk to Billy’s Mum. He does it every morning. He leans close and whispers. She puts a hand over her mouth and giggles. Every single morning. Perhaps I should tell Mum.
In school they’ll waste my time with all those silly lessons. They never tell me anything to help me be the captain of a big ship or a fighter pilot. And Billy will poke my ribs and tell me he kissed Minnie again. I hate Billy.
I think I’ll have to call that telephone line and tell them at how badly I’m treated. They’ll send the police round at breakfast to make Mum give me proper food. And they’ll stop my Dad telling silly jokes. I won’t tell them about Billy’s Mum and how Dad makes her giggle, but I’ll get him into trouble for letting my Mum drown me because she wants the insurance.
Or perhaps I’ll just run away.
Then they’ll all be sorry.
This is one of the short stories from the book John Newton’s Short Stories Volume One, which is available on Amazon – Click to buy
Author Bio:
I’ve been writing books and short stories since the age of 9 with reasonable success. Two of my 14 books sold all round the world.
Contact Author:
Email: nbi.john@gmail.com
